Alexander has nothing on my day!

• 4 a.m. I wake up to find my pants soaking wet. I wonder, worriedly, if I have reached the stage of complete bladder failure. Then I realize my 3yo is sleeping with her head at the foot of my bed, and my bladder is still full. I am annoyed, but simultaneously relieved it wasn't me. Change clothes, empty bladder, strip daughter, roll wet sheets to pile in the middle of bed, put dry towel over wet spot, move self & kids to the other bed in the room.
• 6 a.m. Fussy baby wakes up wanting to nurse. I am, reluctantly, up for the day
• 7 a.m. Morning-person 4yo wakes up and is *very* upset that I want him to finish his "Good Morning Checklist" (get dressed, eat breakfast, etc.) before he starts his schoolwork. Pitches fit. Baby pitches fit too, just because. Throw clothes on, indending to shower/change later (when I have more time. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!)
• 9 a.m. 3yo wakes up her usual sour mood. Pitches mild fit. Baby pitches fit, too, because he's tired but refusing to nap. Put baby in Beco carrier on my back, get the dishwasher half loaded, and feel like I might actually accomplish something today.
• 10 a.m. get halfway through school and realize the 3yo has had no breakfast, and I have only had 1 slice of goat's milk cheese quesadilla.
• 10:20 a.m. I realize what a horribly foul mood I'm in today, and try to curtail it. I am not successful, and my efforts just irritate me further.
• 10:30 a.m. 12:30 Zoo date calls and says they're finished with their errands early, can we go early. I say sure.
• 10:32 Realize that last night I took the car seats apart to wash the too-oft peed on covers (thinking now we have bladder control and they'll stay clean. Right???) Frantically call friend back to explain and hope she'll reschedule. She says get there when I can. Think I probably wouldn't be so stressed about this if she wasn't waiting for me to show up with her free entrance tickets.
• 10:33 assemble car seats, install them, try to install baybay's "big boy" (convertible) car seat that he's probably needed for 1-2m now. Realize it's threaded all wrong, have to take it apart and rethread, too. Still have to get baby dressed. I have been sweating like a pig for at least an hour. I know I'm dehydrated, unshowered, unshaven +in shorts. Know I should put pants on but am too darn hot to do it. Start to feel weak and dizzy, and wonder if I've eaten anything today. Realize wet sheets are still rolled up on the bed. Too bad about all of it - running too late to do anything but cry about it, because it's now
• 11:55 Fill kids' rice milk cups, fix myself a big go-mug of water, take a frozen water bottle for the ride home, say a quick prayer of thanks that my friend suggested eating there because if I'd had to pack a lunch, we'd be leaving another hour later
• 12:00 drive out the driveway. On the way to the zoo, we discuss giving Mommy plenty of lead time about needing to potty, so we have time to find/walk to a potty
• 12:45 arrive at the zoo. When I open 4yo's door, he asks if I have any extra clothes for him. So much for the clean car seat cover. P.S., I don't. Luckily, friend loaned us some. 4yo learns the phrase "going commando."
  
• 12:50 3yo says she needs to go potty. We go to the bathroom. She takes one look at the toilet and refuses. Get 4yo changed and make him carry his own nasty wet clothes out to the stroller.
• 1:30 We finally make it to the food area. As I'm standing in line, I seriously wonder if I'm going to pass out before we get the food. Spend a small fortune on food.
• 1:50 sit down to eat, get hamburger halfway from the table to my mouth, and 3yo announces she needs to go potty. I lose it, speak rather unkindly to her, take a big gulp of burger, grab a handful of fries, and find the potty with her. She takes one step in the bathroom and refuses to go. I half yell that she *is* going because I am not having another kid have a potty accident at the zoo. The other 10 people in the 20 sq. ft. 3-stall 95 degree bathroom must think I'm the meanest lady in the world. 3yo screams, kicks, and tries to fight the whole time I pull down her panties and hold her on the toilet. Also refuses to wash her hands, so I have to pick her up and force her to do it. Did I mention that this whole time I have the baby in the Beco ON THE FRONT??? So I have to reach around him to do all of this?
• 2:00 I ***finally*** get to sit down and eat. 3yo is pitching a medium fit, demanding that I sit on her side of the table and feed her. 5 bites later, still shaky and mildly dizzy, the 4yo has to go potty. And will the 3yo, who was so scared of the bathroom, stay with the friends? No. She has to come, too. So we traipse back into the 105 degree bathroom. At least there is no arguing this time.
• 2:30 Everyone is finally fed, in a better mood. Enjoy the rest of the zoo experience, although it is hard pushing 70 lbs of preschoolers in the heavy double stroller while carrying 18 lbs of infant on chest. Luckily friend+friend's daughter take turns with me. Still apparently manage to re-injure my left upper-arm muscles which have not healed in the last 2-3m.
• 4:00 leave the zoo and drive home, hoping everyone will fall asleep on the way and mom will get a break. Only the baby obliged.
• 4:45 arrive home to a cleaner house. Thank God for the housekeeper. Play in back yard for 20 minutes until the rains come. Set kids up with playdough so I can cook supper. My feet & legs hurt so bad, I only find the rocker, not the kitchen.
• 5:30 scream at kids who have shredded the playdough into little bits all over the previously housekeeper-clean floor. Threaten to send them to bed for the night with no supper. Remember to throw wet sheets in the washer.
• 6:00 Finally got kids to put away play-doh, get table cleaned off, serve chips and salsa for supper because my legs hurt too much to do anything else. Fix myself a salad, but by the time I actually get to eat it, the croutons are soggy and nasty.
• 6:30 Hubby comes in living room to thank me for stopping yelling at the kids, but has to stop mid-sentence to yell at the 3yo who is rolling the Little People SUV over her baby brother's head. (gently, but still...) Can't bring himself to finish the sentence after that. I feel guilty getting mad at him for yelling at the 3yo since I did it a lot more, and a lot louder, than he did.
• 7:00 3yo tells me what a great mommy I am. I thank her for telling me that, adding "because I feel like a really BAD mommy today." And apologized for getting so mad and yelling about the play-doh. She said, "No, mom. I happy about the play-doh. You hewp me cwean up." Can I feel ANY worse today??? Dry sheets and wash diapers. Bathe & PJ big kids. Nurse baby, who seems more interested in trying out his new tooth on mom. Read a bunch of Dr. Seuss. Everyone totally forgets about bedtime prayers/Bible, which is weird. Usually at least one, if not 2-3 of us remember.
  
• 9:30 last 2 kids finally fall asleep. I am ready to crash but hubby wants to watch a movie. Can't pass up this opportunity, as at this time of day he is usually too glued to his computer to notice any of the rest of us.
• 10:15 Find hubby on his computer and ask him if he was waiting for me to do something before starting movie. He gets off his computer and starts movie. Put diapers in dryer and wash uniforms. Watch Pan's Labyrinth. Weird movie. Not sure what I was supposed to take away from it (other than the thought, "Neat visuals!").
• 12:00 movie over. Need to dry diapers longer before drying uniforms.
• All this time, since arriving home, my left upper arm has been hurting, worse and worse. Hem-haw about whether I need to go to the ER, but after hours of debate, massage that helped quite a bit, drinking lots, and a nearly-skin-burning bath that makes it feel SOOOOMUCHBETTER, I decide it's just the unhealing muscle(s) complaining about a really stressful day.
• 1:30 a.m. Finally get hubby's uniform for tomorrow in the dryer. Should go to sleep but feel the need to write. Vent. Something.
• 2:30 a.m as I'm writing this blog entry, I hear the 4yo talking (probably in his sleep) upstairs. I check on him to make sure he's OK, and he and his freshly clean sheets are soaking wet. Despite him going potty right before bedtime. I set him up a blanket on the floor (where he usually sleeps anyway!) and pull the wet sheets off his bed.
• 3:11 here I am still typing. Why am I not sleeping again?

And yet, at the end of the day, as grumpy, cranky, yelly, end-of-my-rope as I was, I feel extremely thankful. We're healthy. I have babies. I have a housekeeper. I have a hubby who is an excellent provider.

I really can't even remember what I was so cranky about.

Good night!